Honesty

1. Thank you for taking 5 of 1440 minutes of your day to read this article on Honesty.

2. What's Worth Writing About today? Honesty. How rare a commodity. Warren Buffett said “Honesty is a very expensive gift. Don't expect it from cheap people.” Why is it so rare to find? How did it become so rare? Let’s dig in.

As I was getting ready to get up from bed this morning, this topic of honesty came to mind. I suppose I was asking myself the cause of friction between me and those I love or close/intimate friends/family.

I suppose the genesis of dishonesty starts young as a child. When one gets bored, they engage in unproductive activities or habits, and when asked about it, they lie, so that they don’t have to deal with it.

The unproductive activity and lie or habit continues into adulthood. To the extent that the habit has crystallized; and people that they meet to develop intimate relationships with, they continue to lie to about the unproductive activities and habits.

This hinders relationships of any kind and on any level. The relationship simply will not grow, merely because both parties are not on the same page, one party is being honest, the other party is hiding things that will eventually derail or delay or sabotage the relationship.

Following are some obvious lies and unproductive activities or habits that can hinder any relationship and what can be done about it.

• Boredom. Boredom is not a bad thing. Most people say because they were bored, they engaged in an unproductive activity or habit. It doesn’t have to be that way. Instead of engaging in an unproductive activity or habit, stay bored; or better yet come up with a better and productive activity or habit. An activity that will benefit you in the long run, not instant gratification. Boredom is the staging ground for ideas, make those ideas productive; they’ll turn into habits that benefit you in the future.

• Instant gratification. Delayed gratification. Some say they’re bored, so they engage in self-destructive habits: abuse and addiction to substances or drugs or screen/devices or to porn or to video-games, etc. These are all instant gratifications that will not benefit you in the future or in the long run. Try delayed gratification, avoid all the things that entice you to engage in the destructive and unproductive activities or habits that I just listed above. Instead, read self-help books, go for walks, exercise, forest bath, go hiking, cook and eat healthy; learn skills that’ll advance you in your profession; learn skills that’ll advance you in the direction of your dreams and ambitions.

• Lying about your finances, lying about your sexual activities, and lying about your addictions. If one is not forthcoming about their finances or lack of financial acuity, it can derail a relationship once it rears its ugly head or once the truth comes out, and the truth will come out, no matter how far you go to hide it. If one is addicted to sexually explicit content and activities, and/or engages in sexual orthodoxies that a potential partner may not be familiar with, it’s best to disclose and put everything on the table for them to make the best decision regarding the relationship; instead of hiding and sweeping things under the rug, only for it to emerge its ugly head down the line in the relationship. As I started out in this article, honesty is the best policy.

• How do you discuss or teach these things to your kids? Tough challenge here. Best policy I believe is to figure out a way to talk to your kids about the importance of honesty and all of the above. The challenge that I’ve found is whether they listen to me or whether it goes through one ear and out the other. That’s a topic for another day.

• Not that I’m holier than thou. I’m certain I’ve my own shortcomings. Whatever the varying degree of shortcomings, I believe the best policy is to place one’s cards all on the table; then discuss it all with the other party or parties in the relationship so as to chart a way forward.

3. Thank you again for your time today.

4. I believe Honesty makes or breaks relationships. I believe whether relationships are dead or alive depends on honesty. I believe this even applies to communities and nations. What are your thoughts on this? How does this apply in your personal life, in your professional life? Feel free to share! I believe applying some or all of the suggestions or guidelines above makes for a fruitful relationship. I pray that you’ll apply them today, you have no time to waste.

#lifestyle #habits #change